“Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding.” (Proverbs 3:13)
When I was younger, I would get frustrated by older leaders who seemed out of touch, or who I felt patronized me. Now that I am much older and have much more experience, I see the wisdom in their perspective in hindsight. I can also look back and see I was sometimes right in thinking I was being patronized or dismissed by those who were in fact out of touch or in fact were patronizing. Being older does not necessarily mean one is wiser. It simply means one is older and has had the opportunity to grow wiser. Whether they have or not is observable.
In the Bible, God often chooses to bestow wisdom on the young (Josiah, Solomon, David, Jesus), and there are many older people that prove themselves foolish. In the same way, there are young leaders who are wise beyond their years, and there are many overgrown kids running about in our society. However, in general, experience brings wisdom, and wisdom brings good decision-making. This begs certain question like: Why does wisdom miss some older people while finding some younger people? Furthermore, why is there often a correlation between wisdom and experience?
Experience only matters if one learns from it. If a person learns from experience, they grow in wisdom. If they miss it through ambivalence, carelessness, or blaming others, they can become less wise.
A Lesson from Driving
I am a better driver than my daughters. It’s not really up for debate (trust me). It isn’t because I know where the gas pedal and the brake are and they do not. We know the same information. The reason I am a better driver than my much younger daughters is because I have driven for a lot longer and grown through that experience. I am a better driver because I have more reference points, more memories, and more awareness of the scope of possibilities. That brings appropriate discipline to my driving. Insurance companies back me up on this. I have a much lower chance of being in an accident than my daughters do, though I drive much more and in more difficult environments. Insurance companies are happy to put money on it.
When I approach an intersection, I have seen accidents and even been in a few. I know people can run red lights. I know that speeding through a newly red light can lead to accidents.
I’ve seen the wreckage.
I’ve slammed on the brakes.
I’ve paid the bills.
I’ve been there when the ambulance arrived and prayed for others in the hospitals.
The last time I was in an accident, my daughters weren’t even alive. I was rear-ended on a freeway into another car. I learned to increase my following distance. Prior to that accident, my following distance was fine in my mind. However, I hadn’t learn to account for the following distance of the driver behind me, as well.
The Difference Experience Can Make
I have a wider knowledge of the scope of possibilities and the consequences of the decisions I make in the moment. This is the difference between rookie cops and veteran cops, veteran teachers, and first-year teachers, newlywed couples and those happily married for decades. It is the difference between newly minted pastors and the older samurai of the ministry. They have learned through experience, both victories and mistakes. They have seen it all, and hopefully, metabolized a great deal of it into wisdom.
Here are some words for the journey:
Seek the wisdom of Scripture. God has revealed his wisdom on every page.
Wisdom is, above all, a gift of God. The best way to begin a journey is to ask God. James 1:5 comes to mind: “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.”
Real wisdom holds up to biblical scrutiny and is offered in affirming love (I see in you…), coaching love (Great job, what can we tweak to make it even better next time?), or rebuking love (It is time to stop blaming and take responsibility).
If you are younger, don’t just listen and take things to heart simply because someone is older. They might be an old fool. Look for wisdom and track record. Look for those in whom you spot wisdom. If you don’t know where to look, ask around.
If you are older, do you listen well to younger people? What can you learn from them? If you are not listening to younger people you are missing metabolizing their experience into wisdom for both you and them.
Everyone needs a Paul and a Timothy. Have mentors and be willing to be one if you feel the Lord has given you experiences that might be of Kingdom use.
Finally, God blesses the humble with wisdom. Pride and wisdom do not go together. Asking God demonstrates we believe God has wisdom to give and we have some yet to receive. Seeking to learn from others acknowledges God has given wisdom to others, as well. Both require humility. The more we empty ourselves of pride the more room for wisdom there is.
More to come.